Knicks Finally Got Rings Coaches 085720696

Imagine your employer had an excellent year and you were in line for an award, one you earned through great effort, extensive travel, and long nights. Instead of receiving it, however, you're handed an IOU note at the ceremony. Or worse, you were gotcha-ed with a fake email the award, just to test the company's cybersecurity.

Your response might justifiably range "from genuine anger to annoyance," as Joe Vardon of The Athletic puts it .

When Vardon describes this very scenario in his latest report, he's not talking the slighted workers of a local plumbing supply company. He's talking the assistant coaches and staff of the world champion New York Knicks.

At Tuesday's season opener, the presentation (broadcast nationally on NBC) made it appear the Knicks assistant coaches were receiving championship rings during the pregame banner ceremony. The boxes they were handed? Empty.

It came as no surprise to the assistants. They hadn't even been fitted for rings, and the empty boxes were a token gesture so they wouldn't feel left out. Token gestures can backfire on you, though, especially when they seem, perhaps, insincere. The Knicks coaches were upset, according to Vardon, on a scale from mild irritation to very spicy.

In quintessential Knicks fashion, the organization's statement on the situation is, "We are not disclosing anything the rings." Because robots need not acknowledge the petty concerns of disposable humans.

One of the most stunning quotes from Vardon's piece is this:

" The Athletic received conflicting information whether head coach Mike Brown received his ring on Tuesday and could not immediately verify if he got one."

What? We can't confirm if coach Mike Brown got a ring? What??

The story careens off a cliff from there. Vardon notes, "Many longtime employees at Madison Square Garden, including some who work in the Knicks' business operations, will not receive rings at all […]. Typically, most employees for NBA teams receive rings, even if they are not as fancy and expensive as the ones the players receive." Yes, some franchises reward the plebes, but not the NBA's second-most valuable one. Enter Gordon Gekko, stage left.

However, in September, MSG sent employees a fake championship ring offer. The email congratulated recipients and invited them to select one of two complimentary ring designs: "Championship Gold" or "Garden Classic." But ha on you, fools! The email was actually an internal phishing test. Employees who clicked the link were assigned mandatory cybersecurity training rather than receive a ring.

What kind of cold, villainous monster says, "You know how we're not giving the employees championship rings? One hilarious way to test our cybersecurity would be…."

Oh, the team ain't hurting for money. The Knicks reportedly generated $640 million in revenue during their championship season, while the franchise's estimated valuation climbed 29% to $12.6 billion, making it the NBA's second-most valuable team.

Giving New York the benefit of the doubt, those rings must be difficult to manufacture. Designed by Jason Arasheben of Jason of Beverly Hills, the Knicks' blingy ring features roughly 800 diamonds and sapphires totaling 22 carats, set in white gold. Its elaborate design includes a mechanical pop-up replica of Madison Square Garden, 16 emerald-cut diamonds representing the team's playoff victories, and a 0.16-carat diamond set in the Larry O'Brien Trophy. One cannot gaze for long upon the ring before weeping, and it must be returned to Mount Doom post haste!

The Knicks won in mid-June, leaving four months for design, contract, and construction. That's a tight schedule. Delays aren't unprecedented in the NBA, and according to team sources, the assistants will eventually receive rings. Still, other championship teams have distributed coaches' rings on opening night, so…

Who are we talking , exactly? The championship coaching staff included associate head coach Chris Jent, assistants Rick Brunson, Mark Bryant, Darren Erman, Riccardo Fois, Brendan O'Connor, and TJ Saint, along with several player development coaches and advisors (including one of the greatest names in NBA history, the legendary Mo Cheeks!). These were among the people who helped deliver New York's first NBA championship in 53 years.

To recap: What should have been a celebration of the Knicks' victory instead exposed tiresome and familiar organizational dysfunction, with coaches handed empty boxes and longtime employees subjected to a misleading phishing exercise. Team owner James Dolan proves once again to be tone-deaf, and this time not by singing at the mic.

A franchise worth billions, a championship decades in the making, and apparently not enough goodwill to go around. How come they win it all and still feel like LOLKnicks?

Read Vardon's full article here . Go Knicks.